We took a vote in the office and decided on the winner. Please come back to see more competitions we are running and check out our blog.
Congratulations to James Davis who won the 2 tickets for his joke:

‘California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as:

PINO MORE’

Here are some of the other entries which were shortlisted. Pick your favourite.

- A Penguin walks into a bar and asks the bar tender “Have you seen my dad?”.
The bar tender replys “Not sure what does he look like!”.
- The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was whiskey on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o’clock in the morning?”
“There is.” he replied, “Breakfast”.
-A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say, “Nice tie.”

Looking around, he noticed that the bar was empty, except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar.

A few sips later, the voice said, “Beautiful shirt.”

At this, the man called the bartender over. “Hey, I must be losing my mind,”
he told the bartender. “I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and
there’s not a soul in here but us.”

“It’s the peanuts,” answered the bartender.

“Say what?” replied the man in disbelief.

“You heard me,” said the bartender. “It’s the peanuts… they’re complimentary.”

- A police officer pulls over this guy who’s been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.

“The man says, “Sorry, officer, I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I’ll have a really bad asthma attack.”

“Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.”
“I can’t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I’ll bleed to death.”

“Well, then, we need a urine sample.”
“I’m sorry, officer, I can’t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I’ll get really low blood sugar.”

“All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.”
“I can’t do that, officer.”

“Why not?”
“Because I’m drunk.”

-A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch.
The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp. “Wow”, says the bartender, “Something bad must have happened.”
“Yeah it did,” he said. “I came home early today, went up to the bedroom, and found my wife having sex with my best friend.”
The bartender pours the guy another triple shot. “This one’s on the house”. The dude gulps it down once again. The bartender asks “Did you say anything to your wife?
The guy answers “Yea, I walked up to her, told her to pack her bags and get out!”
“What about your friend?” asks the bartender.
“I looked him straight in the eye and said BAD DOG.”